Hungry For Love Read online

  “Oh!” I let my legs relax, surprised to see the display showed I’d been pedaling for twelve minutes and I hadn’t even noticed. I was sweaty and a little breathless, but I hadn’t struggled. “That was good.” Pressing the Off switch on the machine, I stepped down, remembering to collect my bottle of water. I hadn’t opened it yet, and I unscrewed the cap and gulped some. “Treadmill next, right?”

  “Follow me.” Jamie ushered me to the treadmill next to the older man, clipped the safety cord to my T-shirt, and started the machine for me. I walked slowly as it began to move, and Jamie pointed out the different settings. There were preset programs available, but I could just start and then stop when I wanted. If I felt like walking uphill, I could adjust the angle, and I could speed up or slow down as necessary. Jamie watched while I increased the speed of the treadmill to a brisk walking pace, and held on firmly to the supports as I strode along.

  “Okay?”

  “Yes, thanks.”

  Jamie left me again and I kept moving. The man next to me slowed from a run to a walk, and lifted an arm to wipe his forehead with his sleeve. He glanced at me and grinned.

  “New here?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Me too. I used to go to Fitness First a few years ago, but got out of the habit. I’m finding it a bit tough starting again.” He breathed out hard and drank some water. “Are you on the free trial?”

  “Yes.” I nodded. “Doc told me to get rid of some flab.”

  “Do you think you’ll stick at it?”

  “Yes, I intend to.”

  “Good for you. I’ll probably run into you sometimes. I’m in here every weekday around this time. I’m Tom, by the way.”

  “Sam.” I nodded at him again.

  “Time for me to go anyway. My wife will have dinner ready. Some bloody awful salad or some such.” He wrinkled his nose and laughed. “’Bye for now.”

  “Good-bye, Tom.” I carried on walking, pleasantly surprised again. Maybe gym hadn’t been such a bad idea after all. I might even end up making friends, or at least people I could chat to while I exercised.

  I glanced around me, hoping I might catch sight of the dark-haired trainer again, but he was nowhere to be seen. I caught Jamie’s eye instead and he gave me another thumbs up. I nodded and carried on.

  My ten minutes on the treadmill passed quickly. By the time I stopped, I gasped for breath and my legs shook, even though I’d only gone at a quick walking pace. I leaned on the safety bar and drank the rest of my water, hoping my pounding heart wasn’t going to give out. The last time I’d done anything so vigorous was probably when I had sex with Mark a year ago. We hadn’t even done that in the last six months of our floundering relationship.

  “Sam, are you okay?” Jamie appeared at my side.

  “Yeah, thanks.” I gulped air, hoping I wouldn’t pass out. “Not used to it.”

  “Do you need to sit down for a minute?”

  “No. M’fine.” I sucked in a long breath and blew it out. I’d begun to catch my breath and my pulse slowed. I’d survived more than twenty minutes of exercise and it amazed me. “I want to do one more thing before I go. What about those?” I pointed at the cross trainers. “Are they hard work?”

  “No, you can have them on an easy setting and your weight helps push down the pedals.”

  “Well, at least I’ve got weight on my side,” I joked, and managed a smile. Again I’d surprised myself. I wasn’t one for making jokes at my own expense.

  “I think you’re doing great. Don’t overdo it on your first night though.”

  “I won’t. I want to do half an hour in total.”

  “Okay, well you will find this tougher than the other machines, so we’ll go for five minutes. I’m putting it on the lowest resistance and I’ll hang about while you do it. I’ll just get you some more water.” He hurried away and returned within seconds. He placed the bottle of water in the machine’s cup holder.

  “Shouldn’t I be paying for these?” I wondered.

  “No.” Jamie laughed. “They’re included within membership, and there’s only so much a person can drink on a free trial so we don’t worry about it.”

  “Thanks.” I drank some more before I started on the cross trainer. Then I clung to the safety bars for dear life, with my body swinging awkwardly from side to side as I tried to co-ordinate my movements. My thighs ached and I quickly became breathless again. I watched the timer on the screen in front of me counting the seconds and kept going, determined to finish five minutes. When I did it and stood still, shaking and panting, Jamie praised my efforts.

  “Well done, Sam! You did great. So, do you think you’ll come back?”

  “Yes, I’m going to sign up. I can do this. I’ve got a good incentive.” I thought of the dark-haired guy as I spoke, and my face warmed.

  “What’s that, then?”

  “Uh, my doctor’s appointment in two weeks. He won’t be impressed if there’s no improvement at all.”

  Jamie grinned. “If you carry on like this I’m sure he’ll be pleased. I’d better get on. See you next time.” He didn’t ask whether I planned to attend at the same time, or give me time to respond before he walked away.

  I took one more look around as I made my way to the changing rooms. The other trainer stood by the water supply, chatting to a pretty girl in a leotard. If only he’d smile at me one day, the way he smiled at her. Even from a distance, the dimples in his cheeks were noticeable. He was more incentive to come back than the doctor could ever be.

  Chapter Two

  I COULDN’T bring myself to use the showers in the men’s changing room. They all had curtains around them for privacy, but when I saw half a dozen men in various stages of undress, I was too embarrassed to join them. Taking my fleece from the locker I slipped away, deciding to shower when I got home instead.

  The rain was still pouring down and by the time I’d caught the bus I was soaked. I became even wetter after walking the couple of hundred yards from the bus to my apartment. Shrugging out of my sodden clothes in the little hallway, I headed straight for the shower. It was only as I stood under the hot spray that I realized I was hungry. My stomach rumbled impatiently as I dried myself, but I was determined not to spoil the day by choosing something quick and unhealthy to eat. Instead I made a vegetable stir-fry and grilled a piece of fish to go with it. I flavored it with salt, black pepper, and a sprinkling of soy sauce instead of a rich packet sauce, and I was surprised to find I relished every bite. I still thought I would have preferred a burger, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the healthy meal.

  I spent the evening watching TV as usual, and sipping a large glass of water. By the time I went to bed, I felt more positive than I had in a very long time. I’d made it through the first day of the rest of my life.

  THE NEXT day my routine was much the same. Another decent breakfast, work, and a chicken salad sandwich for lunch. By the time I got home, I was ready for another session at the gym despite the ache in my legs from the previous day. I took the bus there and spent another few minutes with Grace, signing up for full membership. She took the first month’s payment from my debit card and advised me the membership would be charged to my card on the same day every month. If I wanted to end it, I needed to give them thirty days’ notice.

  I was disappointed not to see the dark-haired trainer that evening. Jamie came over to speak to me for a minute and make sure I was all right, then went off to check on other people. I followed the same plan as before—bike, treadmill, and cross trainer—and I drank a bottle of water as I worked. I saw Tom again and I walked on the treadmill while he ran. We attempted to hold a conversation, which was more grunts and gasps than actual talking. I learned he was a history teacher at the nearby school, and I admitted I worked in Belinda’s and was regretting the last year of stuffing my face with their pastries. He seemed like a nice guy and he made my time on the treadmill pass quickly. Again I skipped the showers and went home to scrub myself. I
baked a potato and a chicken breast for dinner and filled the rest of my plate with salad. I wondered if the past two days had made any difference at all to my weight, but I didn’t have bathroom scales and I had no intention of standing in front of the mirror to see if I could detect any small change.

  The following day I was too stiff to go to the gym and I lounged in front of the TV after work, although I still managed to choose well for my meals. On the fourth day I returned to the gym for another workout, and as soon as I walked into the main area and made my way to one of the bikes, I saw the young dark-haired guy. He was talking to one of the other trainers I didn’t know and hadn’t seen me. My pulse quickened and I was torn between wanting him to turn around and come to see if I needed any help, and hoping he’d stay as he was so I could admire him without being noticed. He wore the same outfit all the trainers wore and I noticed how the snug red jogging bottoms clung to his ass and firm thighs.

  Pulling myself together, I concentrated on setting up the bike. The last thing I needed was a hard-on. When I looked up again, the dark-haired trainer’s companion had disappeared and he had turned around. He made his way to my bike and stood in front of it.

  “Hello, it’s Sam, isn’t it? I’m Luke. You came back, then.” He treated me to a glorious smile. His fringe fell into his blue eyes and caught on the long dark lashes. He flicked his hair aside with one finger.

  “Yes, I promised my doctor.” I smiled back, a little self-conscious. “I didn’t come yesterday, I was too stiff.” My face flamed as I realized what I’d said and I looked down, hoping he wouldn’t notice the double entendres. But he released a soft snort of laughter and when I lifted my head again, he had his hand over his mouth. Shit.

  “I’m sorry.” Luke lowered his hand, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “I laugh at everything, mostly when it’s completely inappropriate.”

  “Feel free. Just give me a minute to take my foot out of my mouth.” I smiled ruefully, hoping my face wasn’t as red as it felt.

  “So, how are you getting on?”

  “So far so good. I was wondering what else I could try. I’ve only been on the bikes, treadmill, and cross trainer so far. Rowing maybe?” I looked at the two people using the rowing machines and wondered if I could manage that.

  “Yes, I’ll show you how they work when you finish here. There are some good programs and you can set them for as short a time as you like.”

  “I’d better try five minutes first.”

  Luke stayed and talked to me as I finished my cycling session. I did my best to keep my pace up, but he proved too much of a distraction. It was impossible. He was exactly the type of man I liked—dark hair, pretty blue eyes, soft pink lips. I had to force myself not to think about kissing them. That was a fantasy I needed to save for when I was alone at home, rather than embarrass myself in public.

  When I climbed off the bike, Luke showed me one of the rowing machines. I picked a simple program where I rowed an imaginary canoe. A small map appeared on the screen in front of me, showing a route along the River Thames which should take five minutes at a slow pace. As I began, the little yellow canoe on the screen made its way along the river. It amused me and it made the new form of exercise pass quickly. Luke left me alone and I continued with the rest of my plan—treadmill next, accompanied by Tom who had only just arrived, and finally the cross trainer. I didn’t see Luke for the rest of the session and I assumed he was either in another part of the gym, or had finished his shift and left. I was disappointed not to get another chance to speak to him, but as nice as he was, I doubted he wanted to spend all his time talking to the latest fatty to join the gym.

  By the time I’d finished I panted for breath, my legs shook, and my shirt clung to my sweaty skin. I smelled a little sour and I knew other people would notice if I went to catch the bus like this. I hadn’t brought a towel and change of clothes with me, so my only option was to walk home. It was a little over a mile, but despite my exhaustion I was sure I’d make it. I helped myself to another bottle of water before I left, then set off slowly and steadily. It was pleasantly cool outside, but I continued to sweat as I worked my tired muscles, plodding home along a series of paths and a cycle track. Five minutes from home, I came upon a scuffle between three men beneath the trees at the side of the path.

  I lowered my head, hoping I could slink by without being noticed. I didn’t like fighting and I didn’t want to end up as part of it, if any of them saw me and thought I’d poked my nose in simply by walking past them.

  “Give it to me, you fucking little poof!” one of the men snarled, and I looked up quickly. One of the three knelt on the ground, and I was horrified when another of the men kicked the kneeling one, then bent over him. The third man joined in, grabbing a handful of dark hair and yanking, causing the victim to yelp in pain.

  “Have you got it?” the third man asked.

  “Yeah!” The other straightened up, grinning gleefully, and held out an iPhone. His friend released their victim’s hair and gave him a rough push. He fell to his side in the mud and curled himself into a ball. Both men then caught sight of me and I cringed.

  “What you looking at?” one demanded. “Fat pig! Come to help your little bum-chum, have you?”

  “Leave us alone.” I wished I had the guts to launch myself at him and try to get the stolen phone back, but I wouldn’t have a hope in hell with my size and current state of exhaustion. I stood there, helpless, until the men laughed and walked away. I looked down at the young man on the ground, and gasped when bright blue eyes stared up at me.

  “Luke!” His split lip oozed blood and his eyes were wet. He panted for breath and clutched his stomach where he’d been kicked. “Oh God.” I dropped to my knees beside him, ignoring the mud I landed in. He trembled and I wasn’t even sure he recognized me.

  “I’m okay,” he wheezed. His voice wavered and he looked anything but okay. He rubbed a dirty hand over his eyes, smearing mud on his tear-streaked face. I hesitated before I lifted a hand to his shoulder.

  “Let me help you up.” I tucked my other hand under his arm and struggled to my feet, pulling him up with me. He groaned in pain and bent over. “Do you need to go to the hospital?” I asked worriedly.

  “No. Thanks.”

  “Bastards,” I growled. “Were they…? Um…” I was reluctant to say ‘gay bashers’. “They called you—”

  “It wasn’t that. They were just words. They wanted my phone.” Luke straightened up at last and met my eyes again.

  “You’re not gay then.” I cringed after I blurted the words out.

  “Yeah, I am.” He looked away and bit his lip, wincing as fresh blood dribbled from his lip.

  “Me too.” I responded quickly, then changed the subject. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more help. I feel like I should have tried to get your phone off them.”

  “No, you shouldn’t. They’d probably have turned on you. The phone’s insured, although my mum’s gonna kill me for using it around here where people like that could see it.”

  “You live near here?”

  “I live on Thorpe Road, but I was going to see a friend. Probably a bad idea now. She’ll be horrified by the state of me.”

  “My place is only a few minutes away. You can come and clean up a bit if you want,” I offered. “I know we don’t really know each other, but…” I waited for him to reply. I felt awful for him, but inside my heart leapt. He’s gay. Not that it was likely to do me any good.

  “Thanks, Sam. That’d be great.”

  “Just don’t get too close. I stink.” Grimacing, I attempted to brush mud off my knees and only succeeded in getting my hands covered in it. “I usually shower when I get home from the gym.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Luke dabbed at his bleeding lip with the cuff of his sweatshirt, then sniffed and rubbed his hand over his eyes again. I wished I had a tissue or something I could use to wipe the mud from his cheek, but I doubted I would have had the courage.

  Luke wore
jeans rather than his red gym pants and I looked around, wondering if he’d had a bag with him containing his other clothes. I spotted a rucksack a couple of yards away and went to pick it up.

  “Is this yours?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  I kept hold of the bag and we began to walk the rest of the way to my apartment. Both of us were shaken, and we didn’t speak until I’d let us into the building and Luke stood in my short hallway.

  “I shouldn’t come in any farther. I’ll get mud on your stuff.” He looked through the open door into my living room at the light brown and cream furnishings.

  “The bathroom’s there.” I pointed to the door on the other side of the hall. “Have you got clothes in your bag you can change into?”

  “Yeah.” Luke removed his shoes, took the bag from me, and slipped away to the bathroom. I went to my bedroom and changed out of my muddy jogging bottoms into a pair of baggy jeans. Keeping the fleece on over my sweaty T-shirt, I made my way to the kitchen to boil the kettle. By the time Luke emerged from the bathroom in his gym pants, I had two mugs on the kitchen counter.

  “Would you like some tea or coffee? Or chocolate?”

  “Tea, please.” He took a seat on the single bar stool I had in the corner. “Thanks for this, Sam.”

  “No problem.” My hand shook a little as I took teabags out of the container and poured water into the mugs. “Sugar and milk?”

  “Just milk, please. Shit, Karen’s going to be wondering where I am. Do you think I could borrow your phone for a minute?”

  “Here you go.” I unlocked my iPhone and passed it to him. He tapped out a quick text, gave me the phone back, and picked up his mug. A moment later my phone vibrated and I checked the screen.

  “It says, ‘Hope you’re okay. Call me tomorrow’,” I read aloud.

  “Thanks. She’s my best friend. We’ve known each other since nursery school,” Luke explained. “I like your apartment. Do you live alone?”